


BROTHERS

by Lonie_67



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Baby Dwarves, Baby Fíli and Kíli, Battle of Five Armies, Bearded Dwarf Women, Best Friends, Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Love, Character Death, Children, Dragon Sickness, During The Hobbit, Dwarf Culture & Customs, Dwarf Women, Emotional Hurt, Erebor, Family Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Fíli and Kíli Brotherly Love, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post Hobbit, Post-Battle of Five Armies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-16
Updated: 2015-08-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 19:13:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3948400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lonie_67/pseuds/Lonie_67
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of the brothers Fili and Kili, from earliest childhood to the end of their life...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The announcement

**Author's Note:**

> English isn't my native language, so be kind with me when I make mistakes, but you can always mention them to me so I can correct them ! 
> 
> I've been thinking about writing this story for a very long time, now I decided to write it at last, I hope you will all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it !

« Fili, my sweetheart, can you stop playing for a moment ? »

Fili looked up at his mother. He understood at once that she meant to have a _serious talk _with him. He frowned. Did he do something forbidden today ? Or maybe something stupid ? The answer to both these questions was no, so he relaxed and offered her his most beautiful smile. At almost five years, Fili was a sweet chubby lad with golden hair and bright blue eyes that sparkled with mischief. He was strong and lively, with a sharp mind. Dìs was particularly proud of him, even on days like these when he did nothing special.__

« Sweetheart, your father and I we must tell you something very important, » she continued, smiling fondly at him and stretching out her hand at him.

Fili dropped his wooden pony and stood up, before grabbing his mother's hand. She was tall for a Dwarf-woman, with hair as black as a crow's wings and piercing blue eyes. Her soft beard was skillfully braided, but her clothes were simple and practical, made to be comfortable while she was working. The time when she was a Princess and wore pretty dresses of velvet and silk was definitely over, now. She was a Dwarf in exile, surviving as best as possible in the world of men with her husband and her son.

« Will Father buy me a baby dog ? » Fili asked hopefully.

He had been asking for a puppy for months, but so far his parents had always refused. But maybe now they had changed their mind ? Maybe the puppy was already at home, waiting for him in the small backyard ? He squealed enthusiastically and pulled on his mother's hand to drag her along. Why was she walking so slowly ? Could she not see how impatient he was ?

But when he reached the backyard he saw only his father, sitting in a patch of sunlit grass. No puppy.

Maybe they had hidden it somwhere to make it a surprise ?

He searched every corner of the yard with his eyes, but he still saw nothing of importance. Tears welled up in his eyes.

« Where is the puppy ? » he said pleadingly, looking up first at his mother, and then at his father. Urggo was smaller than most Dwarf-men, but he made up for his small size with exceptional strength and fortitude. He was one of the best warriors among the exiles of Erebor, and a brother-in-arms to Thorin, Frerin and Dwalin.

When Fili saw his parents look at each other, he understood he had been wrong. There would be no puppy for him today.

« Fili, » his father started, in his deep gentle voice that Fili loved so much. « There's no puppy, little one. »

Tears filled Fili's blue eyes.

« But we have something wonderful to announce you, » Dìs continued with a beaming smile, and her hand came to rest on her belly. « Soon you will have a little brother or a little sister, » she said, as she sat down next to her beloved husband.

Fili stared at his parents in disbelief. They were both smiling, but he didn't share their happiness.

« But... but I don't want a little brother or a little sister ! » he blurted out, shaking his head so fiercely his blond locks flew all over his face. « Njord's got a little sister and all she does is crying and screaming and since she is born no one can sleep at night anymore. »

The idea that such an annoying creature would come to live in his on home was terrifying.

His parents both chuckled softly.

His mother patted her own thigh to invite him to come sit into her lap.

« Come here, sweetheart, » she said, still smiling. « Come here. » Fili obeyed, and settled himself comfortably on Dìs' ample lap. « I can understand you are a bit afraid of this little baby. Because once he or she is here, everything will change for all of us. »

Tears rolled down Fili's cheeks. He liked things as they were. He didn't want anything to change, not now – not ever.

« But change can be a good thing, laddie, » his father said, stroking his son's wet cheeks. « It means that you and me we will spend a lot more time together, when your mother will be too tired, or busy with the little baby. Did you not tell me, not so long ago, that you wanted to come with me at the forge ? Or that you wanted to learn to ride a pony ? »

Fili's face lit up as he heard the word pony.

« Yes ! » he exclaimed happily. « I want to ride ponies ! »

« And you will, » his father promised him. « You will ride ponies, and you will do lots of other things with me. »

Fili screamed in delight, but then his smiled disappeared again. He looked at his mother.

« So you won't have time for me anymore ? » he asked.

« I will always have time for you, my little lion, » she told him in a reassuring voice. « Always. You have my word, Fili. I will always be there for you when you need me, no matter how many brothers or sisters you will have. »

« So there will be more than one ? » he asked, appalled.

Dìs couldn't help but laugh.

« For the moment there will be only one, but in the years to come maybe more babies will follow. But don't look so horrified, Fili. It is a good thing. It may be a bit hard in the beginning, when the baby cries a lot – even during the nights – but you will see. Once you are both a bit older, you will be the best friends in the world and you will share many adventures together. »

Fili seriously doubted it. No matter what his mother said, he already knew he would never be best friends with the baby.

« I already have a best friend in the world, » he said stubbornly. « I don't need another one. So you can send the baby away when it comes, because we don't need it. I'd rather have a puppy, Mother. Can I have a puppy please ? »

Urggo grabbed his son and took him on his own lap.

« Maybe you don't know it, but I had two little brothers, when I was younger, » he told his son, his voice suddenly full of nostalgia. « We used to get up very early, even before our parents. Then we slipped out of our home and we ran throught the meadows surrounding Erebor, and we watched the people of Dale as they busied themselves in the fields and the orchards. Most of them greeted us every morning when they saw us. And when we started getting hungry, my brothers and me we ran back home to eat our breakfast. Sometimes we loved to pretend that we were great warriors fighting in great battles, or exploring foreign countries, and we swung wooden swords as we ran, and we laughed – by Mahal, how we laughed. » His throat tightened. « I will never forget these moments of happiness, Fili. Never. Not even if I live thousand years. They are my most precious treasure. And it will be the same for you, Fili. You'll see. You will be a wonderful big brother. You will love that little boy or little girl so much, and you will laugh together, and you will make happy memories of your own. »

He paused, but his eyes were distant and unfocused as he was still lost in his the bitter-sweet memories of his past.

« Your father's right, » Dìs agreed gently. « Soon you will love the little one so much that you will never talk about sending him – or her – away again ! »

She smiled and kissed him on the top of his head, but Fili was still not convinced. Yet something else was bothering him as well.

« But... If you like your little brothers so much, why do we never go to visit them ? We always go to visit Uncle Thorin and Uncle Frerin, but why can't we go to visit your brothers ? Why do they never come here ? »

Suddenly his father's face was very sad.

« Sorry, » Fili said, but his father put his arms around him and hugged him tightly.

« I'm sure they would have loved to come and visit you, » he said. « But Mahal decided to take them away from us. »

« What happened to them ? » he asked. He hated to make his father sad, but he was also curious. His father had never mentioned his brothers – or his childhood – before, but now that this door had been opened it was hard for Fili to let it close again without asking questions.

« They died the day the dragon attacked our home, » Dìs answered in her husband's place.

The dragon, yes. Fili had heard stories about that. Uncle Thorin sometimes spoke about the dragon, and Dwalin too, and Balin. Smaug, he was called. He had killed many Dwarves and chased the others away, and now they all had to live here, in a place where the tall men didn't like them.

« But let's not talk about these sad events, » Dìs continued. « Today's a happy day. Let's celebrate the existence of this new life, instead of dwelling on those who have been taken from us too soon. »

She put her hand on her husband's, and they shared a long look. Their love was strong and deep. Urggo took a deep breath and forced a smile on his lips, making the braids in his moustache and his beard dance.

« You are right, » he said. « Let's celebrate ! »

He got up and swept his son off the ground, into his strong arms. They had the same blond hair, the same friendly face, the same dimples when they smiled. Fili loved his father to the marrow of his bones.

« You will be the best big brother in the world, little lion, » Urggo whispered into Fili's ear. The boy couldn't help but smile, as he did every time his father said something nice to him. He put his small arms around Urggo's neck.

« I made a cake, » Dìs told him. « With nuts and cinnamon powder, your favourite. »

Fili screamed in delight, and struggled to get out of his father's arms. Once both his feet were on the ground, he ran inside the house, straight to the small kitchen. He found the cake, and gaped in awe as he saw it. He had never seen such a big cake before. And the smell was divine. His mouth started watering.

Why did it take so long for his parents to come ? He was hungry ! So hungry !

When Dìs and Urggo joined him at last, he was so impatient to eat the cake that he had almost forgotten about the tiny spark of life growing inside of his mother's belly.


	2. First contact

« Will your belly just keep getting bigger and bigger ? » Fili asked with a frown, as he watched his mother.

She had never exactly been a slender woman, but now her stomach was protruding in a very alarming way. Fili was sure it would explode anytime soon. It was so big she couldn't really move anymore, now.

« The baby will come soon, sweetheart, » she told him with a smile. « Then my belly will be flat again. »

_Or almost flat, _she added to herself as an afterthought, but it didn't bother her that much. Dwarves were not made to be thin and slender ; Dwarves – and particularly Dwarf women – were made to be round and soft, with generous curves. And she knew her husband didn't give a damn about what she looked like. Urggo had fallen in love with her soul : a woman both gentle and solid as a rock, both sweet and incredibly stubborn. The marks time and harship left on her body would not change anything.__

« When will it come ? » Fili asked.

« I can't tell you when, exactly, but I know it will be soon. »

« Good. I don't want your belly to explode. »

Dìs laughed out loud.

« Oh, my little lion, don't worry about that – I won't explode. My belly was even bigger when I was pregnant with you, and even then it didn't explode. » She knelt at her son's side, grunting as a wave of pain wrenched her back. Of late Fili was very worried, so she always made sure to reassure him whenever she felt he needed it. « Everything will be fine, you'll see. »

She kissed him on the forehead, and gave him a long hug.

« Would you mind running to your father's forge and tell him dinner is ready ? » she asked, and the boy nodded proudly. Not so long ago he was still considered as a little boy and he was never allowed to leave home alone, not even to join his father in the forge just across the street, but now he would be a big brother soon. His mother often sent him to fetch Father, and usually he was always proud to not be treated like a baby anymore.

But this time Fili didn't move. He was staring at his mother's belly, in silence, his face showing a mix of fear and curiosity.

« What is it, sweetheart ? » Dìs asked him.

Fili didn't answer, but he put one of his tiny hands on her belly, very softly, as if afraid he might hurt the baby hidden inside.

_How did the baby end up being in Mother's belly, anyways ? _he wondered. _Who had put it in there, and why ? _____

But before he could ask his mother, though, he felt something move under his hand. He screamed and jumped back, sudddenly terrified.

« The baby kicks a lot, lately, » his mother told him, amused by her son's reaction. « The midwife seems to think it will be a boy, but she can't know for sure so it might still be a girl after all. But wheter it's a boy or a girl, it's a restless little devil who kicks me day and night. It even keeps me from sleeping. »

« Was it really the baby moving ? » Fili asked, still wondering if it had been pleasant or unpleasant.

« It felt your touch, so it decided to say hello. »

« It felt my touch ? »

« Yes, sweetheart. And it hears your voice, too. When it will come to this world, it will know you already. »

Fili watched her belly again, his head slightly tilted. After a while, he put his hand on her belly again.

« Hello ? » he said hesitantly. « It's me. I'm going to be your big brother. »

For a few seconds nothing happened, and then he felt it move again. This time he didn't remove his hand. It was the strangest thing he had ever experienced, yet it was not really unpleasant. Slowly, a smile stretched his lips.

« Did it hear me talk ? » he asked his mother.

« I'm sure it did. »

Fili pondered this answer for a while.

« Then I will sing him a song tonight, so maybe he will fall asleep and he will let you sleep as well, » he suggested. « Do you think it will help ? »

« Maybe, » she said, happy to see that Fili was slowly taking interest in his unborn sibling. « We can try tonight, if you want. »

« I want ! » Fili exclaimed, his face alight with joy.

« And now run to the forge and bring your father back here, will you ? » she repeated. « And quick, please, or else the dinner will be cold ! »

« Yes Mother ! » he bellowed, already running. He slammed the door shut behind him, and Dìs suddenly found herself alone in the house, happy to enjoy some peace and quiet before her son and her husband would return. Instinctively, her hand came to rest on her heavy, swollen baby. She smiled, and wondered what life would be like for her with two little imps to watch over.

***** *****

Fili left their small house like an arrow, running fast on his short legs, but when he reached the street he watched on his right and on his left before crossing, as his mother had taught him. He saw neither horse nor carriage, so he ran to the other side, without stopping and without talking to any of the Tall Men. He knew they didn't like Dwarves like him and Mother and Father. He knew they could harm him if he wasn't careful. He had been taught to stay at a distance from them. So he just ran till he reached his father's forge, just across the street. It was a low, narrow building with only two windows, and they were so filthy that they barely allowed any light to enter.

The door creaked when Fili opened it, then he entered. For a moment he saw nothing but darnkess, and then – once his eyes had gotten used to the semi-darkness – he saw a silhouette that was definitely not his father's.

« Uncle Frerin ! » he screamed at the top of his lungs when he recognized his mother's brother.

« By Mahal's beard, it that my favourite lil' rascal that I'm seeing here ? » he roared, opening his arms to catch the little boy. Frerin was taller than Dìs, and his hair was dark brown rather than black – just like his beard – but apart from these details they both looked a lot like each other. Frerin was Fili's favourite uncle, because he was not as serious and brooding as Uncle Thorin. Frerin loved to laugh and to joke, and he always had a smile or a nice word for Fili. « How are you today, my laddie ? » he asked.

« I m' fine ! » Fili answered, bfore bursting into shrill giggles. « My little brother kicked me ! » he said, lifing his hand so that Frerin could see it. « Right here. I put my hand on Mother's belly, and he just kicked me ! »

Then Fili's father joined them. Urggo was shirtless under his heavy leather apron. He was filthy and sweaty, as usual when he worked in the forge. He was holding a handful of horseshoes in his hands, and a gentle smile stretched his lips when he saw his son.

« Did your mother send you ? » he asked, and Fili nodded vigorously.

« She said dinner is ready and you must come, or else it will be all cold. »

Urggo sighed deeply.

« Tell her that I can't come right now. There's still too much work to finish here, and if I don't do it now I won't have the time to finish it before the end of the day. » He noticed Fili's crestfallen face, so he knelt in front of his son. « If I had a choice I would rather come home and eat dinner with you and your mother, you know it little lion, don't you ? »

Fili nodded dejectedly.

« Yes, I know, » he said, biting his lips and looking at his feet.

« But I really have to finish my work, all right ? »

« Will you come to say good-night to me, later ? »

« Yes, little one. I'll come to tell you good-night, before you go to bed. »

« And you must say good-night to the baby in Mother's belly, too, » he added, remembering what his mother had told him earlier about the baby being able to hear their voices.

« Of course I will, » Urggo said gently as he ruffled his son's blond hair. « But now you get back home and you have dinner with your mother, will you ? Tell her I will come as soon as possible. »

Fili nodded, but without enthusiasm.

Urggo sighed again. Life was not easy since they had had to leave Erebor. The men used to like the Dwarves as long as the Dwarves had gold, but now that their pockets were empty they were treated like worthless beggars. They were of Durin's folk – proud and strong Dwarves – but they had to go from village to village, from city to city, begging for work and struggling every day to survive. Urggo was working twice as hard as any human blacksmith, yet the men who bought his goods didn't even pay him half the price his hard work would have deserved. They threw a handful of coppers at him like one throws a bone at a dog, and when he complained that this was not the price agreed upon they just laughed at his face. _If you don't like it you can just go elsewhere _, they answered him. And Urggo just swallowed his pride, because he knew there was nothing he could do about it, and he knew it would not be better elsewhere.__

Raising a family in these circumstances was hard, and getting harder everyday since the new baby would mean new costs as well.

Urggo loved his wife and his son with all his heart, and he already loved the unborn child that would soon be a part of their family, but sometimes when he thought about all this he was just terrified. The idea that one day he might no longer be able to provide for them was frightening. He wanted what was best for them, yet sometimes he couldn't even afford the bare minimum.

All he wanted was to live a quiet, comfortable life. Was that too much to ask ?

_What did we do to deserve such a fate ? Why are the gods so cruel ? ___

Fili slowly left the forge, and the door slammed shut behind him. Urggo put the horseshoes on the worktable, and Frerin's hand came to rest on his shoulder.

« One day life will be better again, » he said. « Thorin will not allow this situation to endure. We are too proud to be treated like that. We will fight our way out of these slums, and then you will be able to offer them the decent life they deserve. »

Urggo nodded silently. He wished Frerin's words were true, but they had been living this life for so long that he had lost hope.

_No more than empty words and false hopes _, he reflected sadly as Frerin walked out of the forge.__

Once he was alone he grabbed a bar of iron and put it into the oven, and when it was red he started hammering on it harder than necessary. He put his anger and his frustration into each blow, till he was so exhausted he could barely lift his arm, and it helped him feel a bit better – but only a bit. His fears and worries were still here, so overhelming that he could think of nothing else. They had been living like this for such a long time that he couldn't even remember what a carefree life tasted like.

 

***** *****

 

« Will Father come home soon ? » Fili asked restlessly.

« You already asked five minutes ago, » Dìs answered with infinite patience.

« And you said soon. But he is still not here. »

« He will be here soon. Now get into your bed, please. »

Fili nodded and slipped under his blankets. They had been washed not long ago and they still smelled of sunlight and fresh air. Fili fretted till he found a comfortable position, then he yawned. He was exhausted, but Dìs knew he wouldn't sleep before he had seen his father.

« When will he come ? » Fili asked once more.

« Did you not tell me you want to sing something to the baby tonight ? » Dìs reminded him, to take his mind off his absent father.

« What can I sing him ? »

« Whatever you want, sweetheart, » she answered with a smile.

« What about the song with the red apple and the bird ? » he suggested.

« Sounds like a wonderful idea. »

Fili smiled and started singing in his childish voice. Dìs sighed in relief. She knew her husband had no other choice but to work late, but it didn't make it any easier for her when she had to tell her son – for the umpteenth time – that he would have to wait a bit longer to see his father. She closed her eyes and relaxed as Fili's voice filled her ears. The baby was moving, but very slowly, as if it were half-asleep. And when Fili was finished with this song, he started with another one, and this is how Urggo found them when he came home at last.

« Father ! » the little boy shouted, jumping out of bed to hug his father's big leg. Urggo picked him up and put a kiss on his soft, round cheek.

« Little lion, » he said tenderly, putting the boy into his bed and tucking the blankets over his small body. « I am here, now. You can go to sleep. »

Fili didn't answer immediately, but he smiled from one ear to the other.

« I wish you could be here all the time, » he said at last, after a long moment.

« So do I. » He kissed his son again, on the top oh his head this time. « Good night, Fili. Have sweet dreams. »

« Good night, Father, » the boy said happily, before yawning again.

Dìs blew the candle, and suddenly the room was filled with darkness – but Fili was not afraid, because he knew his parents would be sleeping in the next room. He knew no harm would come to him as long as they were here to watch over him.

He closed his eyes and fell asleep almost instantly, happy and contented as only small children could be.


	3. A special night

Fili woke up in the middle of the night, when he heard his mother curse, and then grunt in pain. Immediately alarmed, he jumped out of his bed and ran to his parent's bedroom. 

« Mother ! » he screamed, with tears in his eyes.

Then he froze when he saw what was happening in there. His mother was sitting on the edge of her bed, both her hands clenched on her bulging belly. Her hair had been tied back carelessly, and the black strands who had escaped the braid were now clinging to her sweaty face. Three women were standing around her, smiling at her and whispering words of comfort into her ears ; Fili knew them by sight, because they had visited Mother quite often these last weeks. Midwives, they were called. And obviously they had just arrived, because they were still removing their cloaks and rubbing their hands together to warm them, and their cheeks were flushed from the cold. But why did they come in the middle of the night ? Fili suddenly felt terrified, and he was about to run to his mother when suddenly his father's big arms swept him off the ground.

« Don't worry, laddie, » he said in a reassuring voice, holding his son tight against his broad chest. « Your mother will be fine, little lion. She will be fine. »

Fili couldn't believe him. It was obvious his mother was everything _but _fine.__

« She's hurt ! » he screamed, tears running down his face.

Dìs looked at him and managed a weak smile.

« The little baby is coming, now, Fili, » she said, breathless and panting. « In a few hours, you will have a little brother or a little sister. »

Then she moaned in pain once more, and Urggo did his best to distract the little boy from his suffering mother.

« But for now you will stay with me, little lion, all right ? The midwives will stay with your mother and take good care of her while we are gone. »

« I want to stay with Mother ! » Fili said stubbornly. She was always there for him when he was in pain, so why did he have to leave her alone when _she _was in pain ? This sounded all so terribly unfair.__

« There's nothing we can do for her, now, » his father explained to him. « Childbirth is a woman's prerogative, Fili. Only women can assist your mother while she brings the baby into this world, so we have to leave them alone. " Can you understand that ? »

Fili nodded weakly, but he still looked at his mother with pleading eyes.

Urggo insisted.

« The birthing room is no place for men or little boys like us, » he said in a firm voice. « If we stay we will do nothing but bring bad luck into this room, and we don't want your little brother or your little sister to be born in a place full of bad luck, do we ? »

« No, » Fili replied sincerely. 

Urggo took a few steps that brought him at Dìs' side. He kissed her sweaty brown and shared one last look with her.

« I love you, » he whispered into her ear, in such a low voice that Fili almost didn't hear it.

Dìs just nodded at him, her teeth clenched and her hands clutching her belly harder than ever. Then the midwifes pushed Urggo and Fili away, making it clear they were no longer welcome here. The father and the son left the bedroom together. Urggo hated being parted from his wife while she was going though such an ordeal and needed comfort, but he had no choice – and besides, someone had to stay with little Fili. The lad was so distressed that Urggo wouldn't have entrusted him to anybody else. He needed his father right now.

Urggo grabbed a few clothes for Fili and himself, stuffed everything into a small burlap bag, then they left the house together. Outside, the air was cold and smelling of rain on this late autumn night, but it was not yet cold enough to freeze the ground. They had to waddle in ankle-deep mud and murky puddles, and icy cold water seeped into Fili's worn boots.

« Where are we going ? » Fili asked after a while, when he started to feel cold and uncomfortable and tired.

« To your uncle Frerin 's home, » his father answered. « We will wait there till the baby is born. »

« It's the middle of the night. We will wake him. »

« He won't mind, laddie, » Urggo replied with a smile.

In truth, Dìs' brother was almost as impatient to see the baby as if it were his own child. Being unmarried and without heir, he had always been very fond of his sister's little family ; he had spoiled Fili from the first day, bringing him toys and sweets on every occasion, and he would probably do the same with the second baby.

_He will be more than glad to welcome us into his home on this special night, and to wait with us till the baby is born. ___

When Fili was too tired to keep up, his father carried him till they reached Frerin's home. It was a small cottage at the southern border of the village, close to the forest where the man liked to hunt ; its walls were made of grey stone, and the green roof was covered with moss and other crawling vegetation. Urggo knocked once, but heard nothing coming from inside the house, so he knocked a second time, much louder. They saw the flickering light of a candle between the cracks in one of the shutters, and then they heard footsteps inside. 

« Who's there ? » came Frerin's wary voice.

Even though he had just been roused from sleep at the most unexpected hour of the night, he was fully awake and on the alert. Urggo guessed he was even clenching his sword in his right hand, just in case. There had been so many incidents between the men of this village and the exile Dwarves, of late, that they had all become particularly wary ; like wild beasts living in constant fear of getting hunted by predators, they never truly relaxed and were constantly prepared to face danger.

« It's me, » Urggo announced. « I'm with Fili. Can we enter ? »

They heard him work the latch on the other side of the door, then he opened it widely to let them enter. He was wearing his nightclothes, and his feet were bare on the cold ground. His hair was a mess of dark brown curls.

« The baby ? » he asked, suddenly smiling. His face was not as soft anymore as it used to be in Erebor ; grief and hardship had roughened his features, and deep lines were now marking his brow, but his face lit up as he realized he would soon become an uncle for the second time.

« Can we stay here till everything is finished ? » Urggo asked, lifiting the bag of clothes. « Master Balin also offered to take us in, a few days ago, but I don't want to bother him in the middle of the night. »

« So you'd rather bother me instead? » Frerin teased him, before laughing. « Come on, the both of you. Enter, before you freeze out there. S'too cold outside for a little boy, even a strong little lad like your Fili. »

The boy smiled at this compliment.

« The baby's coming ! » he screamed excitedly in a shrill voice, making Urggo squirm/ « Mother said that in a few hours I will be a big brother ! »

« Really ? » Frerin teased him. « How can you be a big brother, when you are so small ? »

« I'm not small ! » Fili retorted, outraged. « I'm bigger than Njord ! And Mother said that one day I will be as big as Father, maybe even as big as Uncle Thorin ! »

Frerin laughed again, before mussing the boy's blond hair.

« What about finding you a quiet place where you can sleep for the rest of the night ? »

« I'm not tired, » Fili said, before yawning.

« Of course not, » Urggo chuckled, with a fond smile on his lips.

Frerin found a few blankets and an old pillow, and even a stuffed cat made of rags and straw, and both men prepared a comfortable bed for Fili on Frerin's worn couch. Fili kept rubbing his eyes, but he was too overexcited to sleep. He sat for a while on his father's lap, telling him all the things he would do with his little brother or sister, once he or she would be born. Then slowly, after an hour or so, sleep won the battle ; Fili's eyelids became heavier and heavier, till finally the boy was unable to keep his eyes open anymore. He fell asleep in his father's arms, and he didn't wake up when Urggo put him gently on the couch. 

« Sleep well, little lion, » Urggo whispered into the boy's ear, before heaving a deep sigh. He envied Fili's ability to fall asleep so quickly, even on such a nigh.

As for himself, he knew he would be completely unable to close his eyes tonight. He started pacing like a caged bear, counting the minutes and then the hours, his eyes fixed on the starry night he could see through the window. What if there was a problem ? What if something happened to the child, or to Dìs ? What if she needed him and he wasn't there for her ? What if he lost them both ? She had given birth to Fili very quickly, without the slightest problem, and the midwives had assured him that everything was usually easier with the second child, but Urggo was still worried, and he would be worried till he would see his wife and his baby safe and sound, with his own eyes.

_Please, Mahal – please. Spare our family from any more harm. We've suffered enough. Let us be happy, now. Please let us be happy. ___

He had never before prayed with such fervour.

He knew this night would be one of the longest in his whole life.


	4. Childbirth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, I didn't plan to write this chapter or to describe this particular event, but one reader wrote to me, to tell me that she would love to read that scene with Dìs and the childbirth. So I added it to my story, and I'm glad I did : it was one of the most intense texts I have ever written, probably because I was greatly inspired by my own memories of childbirth (I am a mother of two boys). It is a very personal chapter, and I put much of my own feelings into it, so I hope you'll like reading it. 
> 
> Of course, comments and reviews and critics are always welcome, as usual ! :-)
> 
> WARNING : In this chapter I describe childbirth with a fair amount of details, and we all know what this means. If you don't want to read about blood and pain, or if it makes you feel uncomfortable (which I can totally understand), it would be better if you don't read this chapter and wait for the next chapter. I don't want to put anybody ill at ease with my stories.

Dìs watched her son leave, feeling sorry for him. Fili looked so distressed, so terrified. She wanted to take him in her arms and hug him and shower his blond head with kisses, yet she knew that for the moment she would have to let him go. Urggo was a wonderful, caring father ; he would take good care of Fili while she would be here with the midwives, struggling to bring another child into this world.

When the next contraction came, a swear word escaped her lips – the kind of word a proper and well-born lady like her was not supposed to know.

_I'm even worse than Dwalin, now, _she joked inwardly.__

But the midwives around her didn't seem to care, or even to notice. One of them was now stirring the embers to rekindle the fire, while another was was putting water into a kettle to make it boil. The third one was an old woman with grey hair, a big nose and a wrinkled face. She was the most experienced midwife amongst the survivors of Erebor. She had delivered hundreds of babies in her long life. She missed one tooth, but her smile was warm as honey and her mere presence was enough to calm Dìs' anxiety.

« Don't forget what I told you last time, » she gently reminded Dìs, before probing her belly with both her hands to feel the baby inside. « Breathe, my lady. Don't forget to breathe. It's very important, both for you and the baby. » 

Dìs nodded and decided to change position. Maybe it would be less painful is she lay on the bed, instead of sitting ?

But she had barely laid down on the bed, curled on the side around her protruding belly, that another contraction came, stronger than all the others she had before.

« Breathe, my lady, » the old midwife insisted.

_Breathe, yes. You can do it. ___

She remembered what the midwives had taught her, a few days ago. She started breathing slowly and deeply as the pain grew stronger and stronger, her teeth clenched but her mind focused on the breathing, not on the pain.

Breathe in.

Hold your breath. 

Breathe out.

Again and again, till the pain slowly receded.

« Good, my Lady, very good, » the old midwive encouraged her in a calm, reassuring voice. « Now remember what I told you, my Lady. Imagine you're in a beautiful, quiet place. Your favourite place in this world. Imagine you're sitting there, just enjoying yourself. It will help your body and your mind to relax before the next contraction. »

Dìs nodded, then she closed her eyes and she remembered her comfortable reading corner, in Erebor, with its warm blankets and snug little pillows. Endless rows of old, leather-bound books. A strong smell of dust and parchment and ink. Being young and carefree and happy. She realized it was not only this place she wanted to go back to, but also this time : her happy youth as a Princess of Erebor, when her worst worries were about which dress to wear for the next ball, or which Dwarf she would face – and beat – on the sparring grounds. She would have given everything she owned to go back to this time.

Then another wave of pain washed over her. The respite between the contractions was getting shorter and shorter.

_Breathe, _she chided herself. _Breathe, or else your body will be too exhausted to go to the end of this ordeal. _____

At this moment, she suddenly something warm flow out from between her legs. She had broken water at last. Dimly, she remembered that with Fili she had broken water long before the start of the contractions, and panick threatened to overwhelm her. Why was everything so different, this time ? How was she supposed to know what to do, if this second delivery was so different from the first ? What if she failed to bring the child forth ? She felt lost and confused and terrified, and if the old midwive had not been standing at her side she might have started weeping.

« You're doing good, my Lady, » the old woman said, putting her bony and wrinkled hand on Dìs sweaty shoulder, as if she had sensed the younger woman was about to lose control on everything at this very precise moment.

Two more hours went by like that, contraction after contraction, till they followed each other so closely that there was bearely any relief between them anymore. Dìs was a strong woman of Durin's line – she was actually stronger than many men – but now she had reached that point where she wanted nothing but to plead Mahal for the pain to end. Only her pride kept her from crying and screaming and begging.

« The baby has started moving downwards, » the old midwife said after putting her hands on Dìs' belly once more. « It's the final straight, now, my Lady, and then it will be over. »

Dìs nodded once more, unable to talk.

She rolled on her back and gripped the linens with both hands, so tightly her knuckles were hurting. The eldest midwife rolled Dìs' nighshirt up around her waist, baring the lower half of her body ; she was in too much pain now to worry about dignity or privacy anymore, so she just watched as the three other women washed their hands with hot water and soap. Sticky sweat was running down her face, and warm water kept trickling from between her legs. The bed was already soaked with it.

The next contraction made her scream, in spite of all her resolutions to not do so. It felt as if somebody had plunged a sharp knife into her lower belly and was now cutting through her insides.

« You need to push, now, my Lady, » the old midwife told her. « It will ease the pain. »

For a moment Dìs was unable to do as she was told. The pain was such that nothing else existed in the world. Then she gathered her courage and ordered her muscles to push – and she realized the other woman had been right. The pain receded slightly. As small a relief as it was, it was still better than nothing. She would make do with it.

One more hour went by like that.

After a while, though, even pushing didn't make her feel better anymore ; the pain had just become so unbearable that she screamed and cursed with each contraction. Blood was now pouring out from her feminine parts, hot and sticky and mingled with even more water.

« Push, my Lady. As hard as you can. 

She obeyed, and felt something move inside of her. Is is a baby or an oliphaunt that I'm trying to bring forth ? she wondered. How could a baby feel so huge inside of her, when in reality it was so small ?

Then she pushed again, so hard that for a moment the world went completely black. She was on the verge of fainting. She wouldn't be able to keep up like that. If the baby didn't come very soon, she would pass out from exhaustion before being able to deliver it. She had reached the limits of what her body could endure.

She pushed again. This time the blackness lasted longer, and even once it had disappeared Dìs still felt weak and dizzy.

_What if I fail ? What if it dies because I'm unable to bring it into this world ? ___

Tears of despair ran down her round and fuzzy cheeks.

« One more push, my Lady, and it will come, » one of the midwives whispered encouragingly, from between her open legs. « I can see the head already. Just one more push, and everything will be over. »

Dìs gathered the few strengths she still had left, and gave everything she had as she pushed one last time, as hard as she could. The baby moved again inside of her. She felt a searing pain down there as the soft skin ripped open on the baby's passage, and then – at last ! - she felt it slip out of her body. There was a short moment of complete silence, and then suddenly the angry screams of the newborn filled the bedroom. Tears of pain and exhaustion and utter happiness ran down Dìs's cheeks, before getting lost in the softness of her black lady-beard.

« It's a strong and healthy little boy, » one of the midwives told her.

They helped Dìs to removed her nightshirt, then they put the baby against her breast, skin against skin, before covering the both of them with a warm and soft blanket. The baby was still wet from her bodily fluids, but it was moving its small arms and legs. It opened and closed its tiny fingers as if trying to grab something.

« Little one, » Dìs whispered very softly, and for a short moment the baby stopped moving to listen to the sound of that voice he had been hearing day and night for ten long months. His eyes were wide open. They were still dark blue for now, but Dìs knew they would probably turn a lighter shade of blue as he grew older, like Fili, and like both his parents. Or maybe they would turn brown, like Frerin's eyes. It didn't matter to Dìs. She couldn't tear her eyes off the baby. His face was still red and wrinkled, but she couldn't help but marvel at the perfection of this tiny creature she had just given birth to.

« My baby boy, » she said, sobbing and giggling at the same time.

_I made it, _she realized. _By Mahal's beard, I made it ! It's done ! It's over ! He is here, now, and he is absolutely perfect ! _____

She put her big hand on the baby's back, to wrap him in her warmth and reassuring contact. She was already starting to forget the pain and all the other gruesome aspects of childbirth. It was over. It was unimportant. Here was a tiny baby, her son – another little heir of Durin – and nothing else mattered anymore, for the moment.

« I made it, » she said, aloud this time. « Welcome to this world, little sweetheart, » she whispered to her son, as he fell asleep against the warmth of her chest, rocked by the strong and steady beating of his mother's proud heart.


	5. Kili

When Fili woke up next day, it was already late in the morning. The clouds of the previous day had disappeared, and a bright sun shone in the blue sky ; its light was falling onto the couch on which Fili was laying, making the boy feel comfortably warm. For a moment, as his mind was still blurred from sleep, he didn't understand why he was here, in this foreign house, and not in his own bed. He started panicking, and then suddenly it all came back to him.

« Mother ! » he bellowed excitedly, jumping on his feet. « The baby ! »

A few moments later, Frerin walked into the room with a broad smile on his lips.

« Good morning, lil' rascal, » he greeted the boy. « Did you sleep well ? »

« I want to see my mother, and the baby ! Can we go now ? Is it a boy or a girl ? » Then he remembered his mother how he had seen her just before leaving his house, the night before – all sweaty and grunting in pain – and worry filled his big blue eyes. « Is Mother all right ? » he asked, looking up at his youngest uncle.

Frerin smiled as he sat next to his nephew. 

« Your mother is fine, » he answered reassuringly. « She's very tired, but perfectly fine. And so is the baby. »

A wave of relief washed over Fili.

« Is it a boy or a girl ? » he asked again. Now that he knew his mother was safe, he could be interested in more trivial questions again, like the baby's gender.

« Your parents will tell you when you join them. We'll go as soon as you've had your breakfast. »

Fili screamed in delight and ran into the kitchen. Everything was ready on the table, so he just had to sit down and start eating, but in truth he wasn't really hungry. He was too impatient to be hungry, so he just wolfed down a piece of bread and a slice of hard cheese and a glass of goat milk.

« Can we go now ? » he asked, wiping his milk-smeared lips with his sleeve.

« Not so fast, little rascal, » Frerin chuckled. « You look like a wildling. Put on some new clothes, and let me comb your hair first. »

Fili sighed heavily. At five years old, he had no patience for such stupid things as washing or combing his hair. His mother always told him it was important to be clean and decent-looking, but it was boring and he couldn't stop pacing restlessly while his uncle helped him with these tasks. Why did it take Frerin so long ?

« Do we have to do so many braids ? » he whined impatiently. 

« You have royal blood in your veins, young Fili, » Frerin replied, suddenly serious. « You are the grand-son of Thror, the King Under the Mountain who ruled Erebor for many years before falling during the battle of Azanulbizar. And you are the heir of Thorin Oakenshield, the young King of Durin's people. You have to look as regal as possible. We may not be rich anymore, and we don't have a home anymore, but we must still honour our blood and our ancestors by behaving like true princes. »

Fili knew these words, because he had heard them from his mother's mouth as well, but it didn't mean much to him. King Thror had died long before Fili's birth, just like Thraìn. And Uncle Thorin was by far not Fili's favourite uncle ; he was too busy taking care of his people to spend much time with his younger sister and his nephew, and when he came Fili was always a bit frightened of him. He was tall, imposing, and stern-looking. He never smiled, like Uncle Frerin. He never played with Fili. He never said a nice or a friendly word. The boy didn't understand why he had to put braids in his hair for a dead king and an uncle he didn't even like that much.

« I'm done, » Frerin said after a very long moment. « We can go ! » Fili let out a squeak of joy and ran out of the house, and Frerin had to call him back twice before he stopped. « Wait for me, laddie. It's dangerous out there for you. Come here. Always stay close to me. »

Fili nodded, and took his uncle's hand very docilely.

They had to walk for a long time and the ground was still muddy, but at least the day was pleasantly warm. The Tall Men were watching them as they passed, but Fili did as his mother always told him : don't look at them, don't speak to them, don't do anything that might catch their attention. 

« Here we are, » Frerin said at last, when they saw Fili's house in the distance. « Soon you will meet your little brother or sister. »

Fili giggled and walked faster. In fact, it didn't really matter to him if the baby was a boy or a girl. Njord said that girls were boring and that having a little brother was better, because you can play with swords and you can climb trees with them, whereas girls only want to play with stupid dolls - but Fili knew that Njord was wrong about it. Fili knew that girls could have swords just like the boys. Once, he had seen Mother defeat Uncle Thorin when they had sparred in the backyard. She was amazingly brave and strong and beautiful, and Fili would have loved to have a little sister like her.

Frerin knocked and waited till Urggo opened the door. The blond Dwarf smiled as he saw his son, and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

« Can I see Mother and the baby ? » the boy asked eagerly.

« Of course, little lion, » Urggo replied, happy to see his son so impatient to meet his sibling. Dìs and him had feared some jealousy, but obviously Fili was taking it well. « But you will have to be very quiet, or else you will frighten the baby. Can you be quiet, little lion ? »

« I can ! » Fili yelled enthusiastically, and his father winced. « I can be quiet, » he repeated, his voice so low it was barely more than a whisper.

« Good. Come with me, then. » He turned to Frerin. « Thank you for taking care of him. You can't even imagine how grateful I am. »

« It's only natural, » Frerin answered good-naturedly. 

« I'm sure Dìs will want to see you in a few minutes, once Fili will have met his... his sibling. Stay here. It won't be long. »

Frerin nodded, and then Fili entered in his parent's bedroom at his father's side.

The window was open to let the warmth and the light of this beautiful day flow into the bedroom. Dìs was sitting on the bed, wearing a white linen night dress. Her hair was hanging freely down her back, and in her arms there was something that looked like a bundle of white blankets. As impatient as he had been to meet the baby, Fili suddenly felt very shy – almost terrified. They had talked about this baby so much, these last months, and now it was here at last. Fili would never be Dìs and Urggo's only child again. He would never have his parents for him alone again. He would have to spend his entire life with this baby.

_And what if they like it better than me ? ___

Suddenly he felt very reluctant to take any more steps. He froze and looked up at his parents in desperation.

« Come here, sweetheart, » Dìs encouraged him. She was pale and tired, and she had black circles under her eyes, but her smile was so bright it almost outshone the sun outside. « Come, Fili. There's someone here who is impatient to meet his big brother. »

Fili took one hesitant step, then he stopped again. His heart was beating very fast, but his feet were glued to the floor.

Urggo lifted him off the ground and carried him over to the bed where his mother was sitting with the baby. 

« It's a little boy, Fili, » Dìs announced proudly. A tear rolled down her cheek, but she didn't stop smiling.

Very tenderly, she removed one of the blankets so that her eldest son could have a better view on the baby. Fili looked at his new little brother, and frowned ; he had expected this baby to look as soft and cute and chubby as Njord's little sister, but in fact the newborn was quite different. His skin was red and wrinkled, and his face looked strangely like an old man's, and his arms were so skinny... His skin was so thin that Fili could see the blue veins underneath. He was so small, and he looked so frail, so delicate... Maybe he was sick ? But he already had a thick mop of dark hair on the top of his head, which made hi also look a bit funny. His eyes were closed and he didn't move, so Fili guessed he was asleep.

« We named him Kili, » Urggo said with a smile, and one of his big fingers went to stroke the newborn's cheek, so softly the baby didn't even stir in his sleep.

Fili frowned and looked up at his father.

« That's almost the same name as me, » he complained. « What if people will mix us up ? »

Dìs laughed softly, and mussed her eldest son's golden hair.

« Don't worry, my little sweetheart, » she said fondly. « I can understand you are afraid, but you'll see. It will be wonderful for you to have a little brother. »

Fili was not so sure about it, but he nodded to please his mother.

« Uncle Frerin braided my hair this morning, » he said, because he felt like it was essential for his mother to know this detail. And then he started babbling and chatting about his night at Uncle Frerin's house, to the greatest delight of his mother. She was glad to see that the little boy was back to his usual cheerful and buoyant self. She had been very worried for him, in the hours following Kili's birth, but now that she was seeing him smile she could relax at last.

Fili basked in her attention and her affection, glad that the little brother in her arms hadn't changed anything to the love she was feeling for him.

A few moments later, Frerin was allowed into the room, and his deep friendly voice joined the conversation, to Fili's greatest delight. They were a beautiful, happy family.

After a while, though, Father loudly cleared his throat to interrupt Fili's endless chattering.

« Your mother needs rest, now, little lion, » he said kindly, looking at his eldest son and stroking his artfully braided blond hair. « And the baby too. We have to leave them alone for now, so they can both have a nap, all right little lion ? »

« But we've just arrived ! » Fili complained, looking at his mother with pleading eyes. He didn't want to be parted from her so soon after seeing her again.

« Your father is right, my sweetheart, I really need to sleep, » Dìs said in a tired voice. « But you will be able to come back later, if you want. Maybe this afternoon. Would you like that ? » Fili nodded. « Maybe your little brother will be awake, then. He will see you for the very first time. It will be a great moment for the both of you. »

« Yes, » Fili said docilely, even though he was not so sure about it.

He couldn't help but feeling some resentment towards the baby, who would have Mother all for himself for hours.

« Come on, laddie, » his father said cheerfully. « Dwalin said he will let you watch his swords and his battle axes, and maybe he will even teach you a bit of sword fighting. Would you like that, little lion ? »

Fili screamed in joy. Dwalin was something like a hero, to the little boy. Being allowed close to him – and being allowed to actually _touch _his weapons – was the most wonderful treat Urggo could have imagined for his eldest son. His anger and his disappointment were already forgotten.__

« We're going to visit Dwalin ! » he bellowed at the top of his lungs, and little Kili stirred in his sleep, but he didn't wake up. « Sorry, » he apologized, casting a wary look at his mother, but she didn't look angry at him. She was merely looking at him with fond and forgiving eyes.

« I am sure you will have a wonderful time, » she said, smiling. 

Fili kissed her lovingly on the cheek, then he kissed the little baby as well, to everybody's greatest surprise.

« Bye, Kili ! » he whispered soflty. « I'll tell you everything when I come back this afternoon ! » Then he jumped down from the bed and ran towards the door, followed by Urggo's merry laughter. « Are you coming ? » he asked impatiently, turning back to check why his father was so slow. « I'm sure Dwalin's already waiting ! Come on ! »

Urggo laughed again at his son's youthful exuberance.

Fili watched his parents share one last kiss, and just before leaving the bedroom he waved his mother good-bye with the hand.

_Maybe the baby will have her all for himself for the rest of the day, but I will have both Father and Dwalin all for myself ! ___

His smile was growing wider and wider as he walked away, hand in hand with his beloved Father.


	6. New hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait between the last chapter and this one, but I had problems with my internet connection, and both my children were sick, and I was also very busy in my everyday life.

« He's boring, » Fili complained. The little boy was standing right next to Kili's bed, and looking at the baby with a sullen face.

All the grown-ups had told him that having a little brother would be exciting, but they had lied. Kili was not exciting at all. He did nothing but sleep, scream and eat. And he he took up all of Mother's time and attention.

« Oh Fili, my sweetheart, » Dìs sighed as she stood next to her eldest son. But then she smiled fondly at him. « Not an hour ago, when he was crying, you said he was too loud and you asked when he would fall asleep at last. And now that he _is _asleep you're complaining because he's boring ? »__

She chuckled softly, and kissed him on the forehead.

« When can we play together ? » Fili asked, looking up at his mother.

« When he's older, Fili. »

« Tomorrow ? » the eldest boy asked, his eyes suddenly gleaming with hope.

« No, sweetheart, you'll have to wait a little bit longer than that. »

« How long ? »

Dìs sighed again.

« Don't be so impatient, Fili, » she said in a gentle but tired voice. At three months, Kili still woke up several times every night, and she was so tired that sometimes it was hard for her to deal with a bundle of restless energy like Fili. « In a few months he should start crawling, and then I think you can start playing with him – gentle games, of course. Soft games. Because he will still be small and fragile and very clumsy. »

« I don't want to play baby games with him ! » Fili complained, horrified. Njord would make fun of him if he saw his best friend playing baby games with his little brother. « When can we play real games together ? Like playing hide-and-seek and fighting with our swords ? When can we climb trees or have a race ? »

« A few years at least, Fili. »

The little boy sighed heavily. He was still too young to really know how long a year lasted, but he knew for sure that it would be long.

« That's too long, » he declared, casting a displeased look at his sleeping baby brother, trying to understand why it would take him so long to grow up. « He's boring. Can I go and play with Njord ? »

Njord was the only Dwarf-child to live in the vicinity. He was a year older than Fili, but he was his best and only friend.

Even during times of peace and plenty, there were few enough Dwarflings, because Dwarf-women were scarce and not all of them wished to marry or to have children. But now, with them living on the roads, in constant danger, there were almost no children at all amongst their people. Who could be silly enough to bring a new life into this world, when they had nothing to offer to these children ? Dìs herself had felt guilty when she had realized she was pregnant for the first time. They had no home, no money, no stability. They had nothing. Urggo and her had decided to wait till their situation would improve to have children, yet the potions Dìs had been taking to prevent the conception of a child had obviously not been very efficient. A spark of life had started growing in her belly, and she had spent sleepless nights crying over the poor life this baby would have as it grew up. Urggo had been standing at her side, every minute of every day, and in the end he had managed to convince her that having this baby would be a good thing. _We love each other, don't we ? _he had asked her. _And we will love this baby, of that I'm sure. We will find a way to make him happy. He may not grow up as the prince he should have been, had Smaug not taken Erebor from us, but he will get plenty of love. _And he had been right. Every day since Fili's birth, she had thanked Mahal for this most precious gift, and when she had realized she was pregnant for the second time she had been much more optimistic, because she had gained in self-confidence. She had known, by then, that she had what it took to be a good mother and to make her children happy, even if times were hard.____

But most women still decided to not have children, so Fili didn't have many friends to play with. And usually Dìs was more than happy to let her eldest son play with the other boy, but today it was impossible.

« No, sweethart, today I want you to stay home, you remember ? Uncle Thorin's back from his journey, and he will have dinner with us tonight. Uncle Frerin will be here too, as well as Dwalin and Balin and a few other Dwarves. »

« But they will come tonight, » Fili complained. « I still have plenty of time to play with Njord, and then... »

Dìs interrupted him with a stern look.

« Last time you promised me to be back for dinner in time, you came home late and filthy, with mud all over your clothes and your face and your hair. » She shook her head. « So this time you stay home, and you'll have a bath, and you'll be at my side when I open the door for them, is that clear ? »

Fili nodded grudgingly, because he knew it would be useless to argue with his mother. She would not give in, like Father did sometimes.

« Good, » Dìs said with a pleased smile. « Now go and play in your room for a while. I'll call you when it's time for your bath. »

Fili obeyed and spend a few hours playing quietly in his bedroom, and the hourw went by slowly. He couldn't help but try to imagine what he would be doing if her were oustide, playing with Njord in the snow. They could have built a snowman. They could have made a snowball battle. They could have rolled in the snow. They could have done so many things, but no – he had to stay inside, with his mother and boring little brother. This was so unfair.

_And all because of Uncle Thorin _, the boy realized, with a sullen look on his pretty little face.__

As afternoon slowly turned into evening, Dìs came to fetch her son and bathe him in the small tub Urggo had knocked together specially for Fili. She scrubbed him even harder than usual, till the water in the tub was almost cold. Then she helped him dry himself in a warm towel – Fili loved to feel the soft, warm towel on his cold skin when he came out of the bath – and then she spent what seemed like hours braiding Fili's hair. The boy quickly grew restless.

« Stop moving, now, for Mahal's beard, » Dìs chided him. 

« You're hurting me ! » the boy complained loudly.

« It's only hurting because you're fretting while I'm braiding your hair, » she replied wearily. « Stop moving, and it won't hurt anymore. »

She could hear Kili waking up in the living room, and she wanted to be finished with Fili before the little one started wailing, but her eldest son didn't make things any easier for her. A wave of anger and annoyance rose in her, but she forced herself to keep calm. Taking it out on Fili would be utterly unfair, and it wouldn't make anything better. Besides, it was not the boy's fault if she was tired and at the end of her tether because of the new baby. She was the grown-up here, so it was up to her to clench her teeth and to take it upon herself.

« When will Uncle Thorin come ? » Fili asked his mother.

« Soon, sweetheart, » Dìs answered with a forced smile.

In truth, Fili wasn't really looking forward to seeing his uncle again. He was very tall and impressive, like a bear. He had a big booming voice and a stern face that never smiled. He was always so intimidating. Of course Fili would never admit it aloud – he was a big boy, now, after all – but he was a bit afraid of his eldest uncle. He never felt truly at ease in his company.

Fortunately, Uncle Frerin will be here too, he reflected, smiling. And Dwalin, too, who was Fili's hero.

Night had fallen already when they heard the first knock on the door. It was Frerin. Fili screamed in delight when he saw his uncle, and threw himself into his arms like a cannonball. Frerin wrapped his big arms lovingly around the boy, roaring with laughter, then he gave the boy a long and heartfelt hug.

« Hey, laddie, what's up ? » he asked, ruffling the boy's braids till Dìs made him stop with one stern look.

Fili started babbling loudly and enthusiastically, but soon he was interrupted by someboy else knocking at the door. It was Balin this time, accompanied by a pair of Dwarves whose names Fili didn't know. One of them was old and wrinkled, with almost no hair left on his head, but the second one was much younger, with ringlets of silver and gold in his huge red beard. They both ignored Fili as if they hadn't seen him, but Balin offered the boy a gentle smile, as usual. Balin was old, too, with white hair and a white beard, but his eyes were still as sharp as they had been the day he had fled Erebor with all the others. Fili loved Balin, because the old Dwarf was kind and gentle and friendly, and he always had a nice word for Fili whenever they met.

The last to come were Uncle Thorin and Dwalin. The golden-haired boy bowed in front of the King, as his mother had taught him, but when the moment came to greet him the boy suddenly felt so shy that the words refused to come out of his throat. Tears welled up in his eyes as he looked up at his mother ; he was sure she would rebuke him for his poor manners, yet obviously she hadn't even noticed her son's lack of formality. Fat glistening tears were running down her face, and next moment she opened her arms and hugged Thorin for such a long time Fili feared they were glued together. And then she started sobbing, her face burried in Thorin's shoulder. 

Fili didn't understand why she was suddenly so sad. She had talked about nothing but her impatience to see Uncle Thorin again, all day long – and now that he was her she was crying ? Thr boy felt truly and completely lost

_I just hope I won't be so strange when I will be a grown up, _he pondered.__

Then Dìs brought Kili into the room, and suddenly all the eyes were on the baby. Fili, who was not impressed by Kili anymore – there was nothing to be impressed about – just sat on the thick sheepskin his mother had spread on the ground, in front of the crackling fire. He found a few wooden horses and started playing with them in silence ; from time to time he cast a sullen glance at his elders, who were so busy swooning over Kili that they had completely forgotten about him. I'm sure they wouldn't even miss me if I ran away, he reflected. 

But his resentment was instantly forgotten when Dwalin in person came to sit next to him. Fili's blue eyes filled with awe as the tall warrior settled himself as comfortably as possible on the sheepskin. He wasn't wearing any weapon or armour, right now, but he was still very impressive. He had scars on his face and tattos all over his bare arms, but his smile was kind enough.

« I've got something for you, laddie, » he said in his deep, growling voice, and he reached into the big leather bag he was carrying. He brought out a package ; it was long and thin, wrapped in old rags and tied up with hempen rope.

« What is it ? » Fili asked in a shrill voice, suddenly shivering with impatience and excitement.

« Your uncle Thorin chose it for you, » Dwalin continued, still smiling. « Want me to help you open it ? »

Fili nodded, then he watched as the warrior grabbed his small pocket knife to cut the ropes. When they were all gone, he handed Fili the package.

« Open it, now, » he suggested.

Fili was glad to obey, and underneath the rags he discovered a wonderful little sword. It was not a real one, of course ; it was made of wood, but it was undeniably very pretty. It had been carved into honey-coloured wood, and the hilt had been painted with bright colours : red and green and blue, with a few touches of gold.

« It's almost like a real sword ! » Fili exclaimed loudly, which earned him a disapproving look from his mother. « It's beautiful ! » he added, looking up at Dwalin with a beaming face. « Is it really for me ? »

Dwalin laughed.

« Of course it is, » the warrior replied, patting the boy on his small shoulder.

« Njord will be so jealous ! »

Usually, the two boys used sticks and pretended they were swords, when they layed together, but now Fili had a _real _wooden sword to play with ! He was so impatient to show it to his best friend ! A real sword, with a blade and a hilt and a pommel ! Njord will love it, too, but it will be mine and he will only have a poor old stick ! Suddenly, the boy realized this was actually the best day in his life.__

« Your uncle thinks you should start your sword training within a few years, at the age of seven, like all the other princes of Erebor before you, » Dwalin told him very seriously. « And your mother agreed. She knows you will have to learn to fight, if you want to survive in this world. She asked me to train you. Would you like that, laddie ? »

Fili's eyes opened wide. Learning sword fighting ? Real sword fighting ? Like Mother and Father and Uncle Thorin ? With real swords ? And with Dwalin in person as a teacher ? Could life really be so good, or was it just a sweet dream ? He looked suspiciously up at Dwalin, but he saw that the warrior was being very serious.

_So it wasn't a joke, _the boy realized, and his heart began racing like a mad horse in his narrow chest. It was for real !__

« Yes ! » he bellowed, jumping on his feet and hopping excitedly around the warrior. « I would LOVE that ! »

This time, he had screamed so loudly that Kili had woken from his sleep. He started screamling and kicking under his thick blankets.

« Fili, for Mahal's sake, can you stop being so loud ? » she scolded him, her face suddenly as stern as Uncle Thorin's.

Fili lowered his eyes.

« 'M sorry, » he muttered sheepishly.

« It's all right, » Dìs replied indulgently. « I think he would have woken up soon. But try to calm down, now, sweetheart. Can you do that for me ? »

Fili nodded docilely, because he didn't want to make his mother angry – and she was getting angry rather easily, since Kili was born – but he was still boiling inside. He couldn't think about anything else but the sword lessons with Dwalin. How long did it mean, exactly, « in a few years » ? When would they start ? When would he become his first real sword, made of steel ? How long till he would be allowed to fight a real enemy ? All these questions were making him giddy, and he had to sit down again.

Urggo came late, all filthy and sweaty after a long hard day at the forge. His hair was a mess of bond curls, and one of the braids in his moustache had lost its clasp. Fili ran to him and hugged him fiercely, before filling his ears with an over-excited chatter about swords and lessons and Dwalin. He talked so fast Urggo didn't understand half of what he was saying.

« Let me wash and put on some clean clothes, little lion, and we'll talk about it later, » Urggo suggested. He was tired, but being welcomed by his smiling son always brought a smile to his own lips as well.

Urggo came back, clean and hair braided anew, they all had dinner together. And wine, too, for the grown-ups. And the food was delicious : smoked sausages, garlic bread with a golden crust, spiced carrots and vegetables, and a big ham Dìs had roasted in the fire. It tasted divine. Everybody talked happily, too ; mostly they talked about boring grown-up stuff, but at one point Uncle Thorin started talking about his last journey, and then sudenly it all became much more interesting. Fili listened raptly as his tall uncle talked about mountains and wildlands, about war in ditant lands, about cities of men so big they stretched from one horizon to the other. At one point, he even saw Uncle Thorin smile, something the King of the Dwarves had never done before in his nephew's presence. It lit up his whole face, making him look a lot like Uncle Frerin and Mother. Everybody laughed a lot, too, and Fili laughed along even if he didn't always understand why exactly they were laughing. Frerin and Mother kept teasing each other, and Urggo had a very long, very serious talk with his old friend Dwalin. Kili kept waking up whenever things got a bit too loud, to make sure no one forgot he was here.

After the dinner, when Dìs and Urggo cleared away the empty plates, Fili got up and helped them willingly, with a big smile, because he knew it would make his mother happy to see him behaving so nicely. She smiled porudly at him, and offered him a small honey cake as a reward. Fili gulped it down in two bites. He loved honey cakes.

After a while, when the conversation got too boring again, Fili left the table – after asking his mother – and sat on the sheepskin in front of the fire. He played with the cat for a while ; it wasn't their cat, but it had been living in the empty house when Dìs and her family had settled in, and Fili had immediately adopted it. It was a big black-and-white female, with long hair and green eyes and she was missing half a ear. Fili loved her to bits, even when she did ugly things like bringing dead mice into his bed in the middle of the night.

Then Uncle Thorin talked again, his voice loud and clear – and almost cheerful. It was strange enough to catch Fili's attention. He stopped playing with the cat, and turned his head to watch his uncle.

« The scouts I have sent into the west are back, » he announced proudly, looking at each of the other Dwarves in turn. « And they brough good news. They found an old dwarven settlement in Ered Luin, far in the west. The Men call these mountains the Blue Mountains. The scouts found an abandoned village, and mines who've been empty for years, maybe even centuries. They don't know who lived there so long ago, and they have no clue why the place was abandoned, but they see to think the place could be easily brought back to life. »

A long silence followed his words. The Dwarves stared at each other, then one after the other their gazes came back on Thorin. 

Dìs was the first to frown.

« If this place was abandoned, there was probably a good reason, » she said, looking her eldest brother straight into the eyes. As eager as she was to leave this thrice-damned village, she didn't want to throw herself head first into some other danger. Sometimes the miners brought up strange diseases from the heart of the mountains they exploited - diseases that could kill a whole village in half a dozen of days. Dìs didn't want to expose her precious sons to such a danger, no thanks. « I don't want to journey to the other end of the world, only to have us all die there in the ruins of some old and unnamed village. »

Urggo put both his hands on hers, and gave her a reassuring smile.

« The scouts found no bones, » Thorin told her. « No corpses. And empty houses. The Dwarves who used to live there had time to pack their things and leave tidy houses behind them as they left. The didn't leave in a hurry, so wa can assume they didn't flee any danger. »

Dìs glared at him, still unconvinced.

« Maybe there is no more gold or iron in these mines, » frerin suggested, chewing on his lower lip. « What good would it be to settle there, if there's nothing for us there ? How will we live, if we the mines won't provide us what we need to ear our living? »

Thorin looked at his younger brother for a while, then a smile stretched his lips, very slowly.

« We will have a place of our own again, Frerin, » he said in a deep and low voice. « We will have a home again. A place where the children can grow up without being threatened by the cruelty and heartlessness of the Men. It won't be as good as Erebor, I am aware of that. Nothing can compare to the mighty kingdom under the Mountain. But it will still be a home. » He looked at all the others, his eyes full of burning passion. He slammed one of his fists on the table. Fili startled, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from his uncle, as if he were hypnotized. « I say it's worth trying, don't you think ? »

After a few moments of utter silence, Dwalin suddenly roared his approval, so loudly the walls fo the house trembled.

« If the village is unfit for us to live in, we may still found ourselves another village where to settle in, » Balin added, nodding. « This part of the world is quite densely populated by Men, and maybe they will be more willing to accept us over there. Maybe they will even be friendly twoards us. Maybe they will welcome the skills our people have to offer them. »

« Anyways, it can't really be worse than here, can it ? » Frerin said, shrugging his shoulders. A few days ago, another Dwarf had almost been killed by a gang of drunk mercenaries looking for a 'distraction'.

Another silence followed, and Fili had time to watch them ell. Mother and Father were looking at each other, and Balin seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. Frerin was talking in a low voice to the two Dwarves whose names Fili didn't know.

This time again, it was Dìs who talked first.

« So... so we are really going to do this ? » she asked, looking up at her brother. Their identical eyes met, and suddenly – just by seeing them stare at each other – Fili understood how deep a bond they were sharing.

« Yes, little sister, » Thorin said fondly, putting a hand on Dìs' shoulder. « We will start a new life. »

She smiled at him, then she looked at her husband once more.

« We can't leave now, » Urggo said, looking a bit worried. « It's the middle of the winter, and Kili is far too young to travel so far. »

« We can't wait for Kili to grow up, » Thorin replied, looking down at his youngest nephew. « As for winter, well... » Thorin sighed. « It will take us at least a year to reach Ered Luin, according to the scouts. So we will have to face the snows and storms of winter anyways, at some point of our journey. And I'd rather face them now, while we are still in good shape and fully rested, and while our bags of food are still full. It will be much easier than having to trudge along in the snow at a time when we are already exhausted and famished after several months of travelling. »

Urggo nodded. He wasn't stupid, and he knew Thorin was right, yet he still cast a orried look at his sons.

« It won't be easy for them, though, » he said.

Dìs' attention went on little Kili in her arms. She contemplated the little baby for a long while, then her eyes fell on Fili. The boy could see she was distressed. He walked over to her and gaver her a big hug with his tiny, chubby arms. Dìs kissed him on the top of his head.

« My little sweetheart, » she sighed.

« We will all help you to take care of the little ones, » Frerin vowed very solemnly, before winking at Fili. « We will protect our little princes at all costs, won't we ? » he asked, looking at the other Dwarves sitting around the table.

One after the other, they all nodded : first Dwalin, then Balin and Uncle Thorin, and at last the two nameless Dwarves.

« When do we leave, then ? » Dìs sked, her voice slightly shaky

« As soon as everybody is ready, » Thorin replied with a reassuring smile for his sister. « It might take a month or two, because I will have to inform all the other Dwarves scattered here and there, and some of them live quite far away from. Besides, it might also take time to gather the food and other goods we will need for the journey. »

Dìs was holding Kili in her left arm, and hugging Fili with her right arm. She nodded slowly, even though she still looked a bit worried.

« I think we can be ready in a month, » she said, and Urggo gave her an approving look.

« I need to leave now, » Thorin announced. « If we are to make this, we must start as soon as possible. Dwalin, you're coming with me ? We take the ponies and we ride hard, to reach the population of Hollow Creek before dawn. » Then he turned to the other Dwarves. « Balin, can you go to Weaver's Hill and warn the people there ? I'll lend you my second pony, since yours is still unable to work. And you – Vylmar, Udwan. Find the hunters who live in the woods, and tell them we are leaving for Ered Luin as soon as possible. Some may want to stay here, since they have adapted remarkably well to life amongts the Men, but most of them will probably still follow us. »

The old Dwarf with no hair and the one with a red beard bowed in front of Thorin, then in front of Dìs as they departed.

« Frerin ? You stay here and you supervise the preparations here, will you ? »

« Of course, »Frerin replied, nodding just once.

They all looked at each other for a few more seconds, and then suddenly everybody was gone. Fili was left alone with his parents and his sleeping little brother, and the house was very quiet again.

« Are we really going to leave ? » the boy asked, his small voice sounding very loud now that all the others were gone.

His father scooped him up in his arms, and carried him over to his bed.

« Yes, little lion, we will leave this village soon, » he said reassuringly. « But not tonight, not even in a few days. For now, all you need is a few hours of sleep, and we'll talk about all this tomorrow. »

Fili didn't feel sleepy at all – he had heard and seen too many things tonight – but he knew that he had no other choice. He let his father help him to slip into his nightclothes, then he settled himself into his bed. The blankets were cold, at first, but it didn't take them long to warm up. Fili yawned, then he started rubbing his eyes.

« I'm not tired, » he pleaded. « When will we leave ? » he asked.

« Tomorrow, » his father replied firmly.

« But... »

« You need to sleep, now, little lion. » He kissed his son on the forehead. « You mother will come to tell you good-night as soon as she is done nursing your little brother. It shouldn't take long. »

Fili nodded. It was unfair. Kili was much younger, he should be the first to go to bed, but instead he was always allowed to stay awake longer.

« Why is Kili not in his bed ? » he asked.

« Because he's still a baby and he can't sleep for twelve hours in a row, like you, » his father explained patiently. « It will take some time for him to adjust to our daily routine. But it will come, eventually. Just be patient with him. »

Fili yawned again, then he closed his eyes. Urggo blew the candle and left the boy alone after wishing him a good-night, with pleasant dreams.

A few minutes later, when Dìs entered his bedroom to bid him good-night, the boy was sound asleep already. She smiled fondly at him, and stroked the soft blond hair with the tip of her fingers.

« Good-night, my little love, » she whispered into the darkness.

Then she left him alone, and joined her husband in the living room, where he was gently rocking Kili. The baby was about to fall asleep, too. 

« Let me put him into his bed, » she offered. « He cannot fall asleep in your arms every night, or he will end up spoiled rotten. It's time he learns to fall asleep in his bed. »

Yet when she reached the cradle, it was very hard for her to part from him. He was so small in her arms, and he was looking up at her with huge eyes ; they had turned from dark blue to brown, making him look a lot like Frerin. His cheeks were soft and chubby, and his dark brown hair was growing alarmingly fast, making him look like a shaggy little puppy. He was a sweet and smiling baby, so easy to love.

Slowly, very slowly, the baby's eyes closed.

« He has to learn to fall asleep in his bed ? » Urggo teased her when he saw her lost in the contemplation of the sleeping baby, a few minutes later. « Really, my love ? » He chuckled softly, and put both his arms around his wife's waist. They kissed briefly, and then Dìs put Kili in his bed. The little one didn't even stir.

When they closed the door behind them, they looked at each other. The both smiled. For the first time in a very long time, they carried hope in their hearts again. If everything worked accordingly to Thorin's plans, they would no longer be a group of worthless refugees, having to suffer the insults and the pettiness of the Tall Men. If everything worked accodringly to Thorin's plans, they would be proud Dwarves again soon, and the boys would grow up as the beloved princes of their people.

Dìs closed her eyes, and rested her forehead against her husband's chest.

_Mahal please _, she begged. _Mahal please don't let us suffer another blow. Mahal please allow us to find happiness again.___

Urggo took her hand end her to the bed they were sharing, and when she fell asleep that night she dreamt of Blue Mountains in the distance. She dreamt of a home, and of two young princes wearing a crown upon their heads.


	7. Confrontation

Dìs was waddling in an ankle-deep mixture of mud and half-melted snow, with Kili in her left arm and Fili walking beside her, clinging to her right hand. Both boys were wrapped in several layers of furs, to protect them from the icy winds of winter, but their faces were still very red from the cold and the strands of hair who had escaped from their hoods were covered in star-shaped snowflakes. If Dìs had had a choice, she would have left the boys at home, sitting in front of the crackling fire – but Urggo was working at the forge, and Frerin was out of town for the day, so there had been no other choice for her but to drag the boys along as she went to the market. On her back, she was carrying a burlap bag stuffed with the food and other goods she had bought on the market ; some salted pork, cheap and greasy garlic sausages, a tiny smoked fish for Fili... She had also bought a few candles, some dyed wool to knit a blanket for Kili, and a hard chunk of soap. There's a few other things she would have needed, but well – if you don't have the money to buy it, you'll have to do without it. Dìs had learned that lesson long ago, and had quickly become very adept at surviving without even the most necessary goods.

Her bag was not very heavy, but it was cumbersome and Kili was kicking like mad in her arms. She held him close to her, to share her body warmth with as him and to make sure he could not slip our of her grip.

« Calm down, little one, » she whispered to him. Then she looked down at her eldest. Fili was wet and cold, pouting and silent. He was walking so reluctantly that Dìs litterally had to drag him along like a dead weight. She was exhausted and part of her wanted to cry, but she was alone with the boys, completely alone, and she knew no one would come to her help. She had to be strong for her little ones. She steeled herself and took a deep breath. At home there would be warmth and comfort, and a blazing fire in the hearth. And a cup of burning hot tea.

_Yes, hot tea will be good, _she reflected. _But first you'll need to go back home. _____

She walked more determinedly, her eyes fixed on the slippery, muddy road. With every step she took, mud and melted snow splattered in every direction ; her legs were wet to the knees, and her feet were a block of ice.

Suddenly, three tall silhouettes slipped out from the shadows to stand in front of her. Dìs startled, and suddenly a rush of adrenaline flowed through her body. Her heart drummed in her chest like the hooves of a mad horse. Instinctive fear made her forget about exhaustion. But then she looked up and saw the men who were facing her, and she sighed in relief. She knew them. All the exiled Dwarves knew them. A gang of stupid, witless oafs. Hunters living in the forest, who came to town once or twice a month to buy whatever goods the forest couldn't provide. They loved to harass and to molest the Dwarves, but they only chose their victimes amongs the women, the children and the weak ones – those who cried and begged and never striked back. They were far too craven to face a strong, able Dwarf. One of them was old, with a grizzled beard and fleshy lips that looked like a pair of wet slugs. The other two were brothers and looked almost alike ; broad-shoulders, with arms as thick as a bear's and dirty blond hair. 

« Filthy cowards, » Dìs mumbled, more annoyed now than really afraid. She knew how to deal with idiots like these men. Show them that you do not fear them and they will run away like frightened dogs, with their tails betwen their legs.

_You chose the wrong victim today _, Dìs reflected, swelling out her chest and looking them straight into the eyes, hoping that such a cocky attitude would be enough to frighten these brainless morons off.__

But it wasn't. They took a few steps and suddenly stood very close to her.

« Oh, look what we have here, » the old one mused in a raspy voice. « One of those hairy lil' freaks ! Never seen anything as disgusting as a woman with a beard ! »

The three men guffawed loudly, but Dìs just smiled and lifted her chin. Her beard was soft and very black, contrasting with her pale skin. She braided it twice a day and it was undoubtedly one of the most beautiful female beards amongst Durin's folk. Dìs was very proud of it.

« Just in case you hadn't noticed, you're standing in my way, so please remove yourselves from here and let me walk back home, » she said, frowning. Her words were courteous, but she had spoken them in a voice as sharp as a newly-forged blade.

The men laughed again. The old one missed a few teeth, making him look even more ugly.

« An' if we don't obey, what will you do then ? » they mocked her, before laughing again.

A small crowd of onlookers was starting to gather around them, but Dìs knew no help would come from any of them. Most of them were no more than harmless peasants or tradesmen who didn't have the guts to stand up against a trio of skilled and experienced hunters, and the few of them who could have stopped it – there was a bunch or armoured soldiers among the crowd - those people would certainly not risk their good reputation by helping an ugly, worthless Dwarf beggar. A wave of cold anger rose in Dìs at the idea of being considered like filth by the humans who used to worship them, not so long ago, when they were still rich and powerful. Fate and fortune, power and wealth, those were all unreliable things, and in the blink of an eye everything you took for granted could shatter into a thousand pieces. Before Smaug destroyed everything, all these men and women were kneeling in front of the Dwarves of Erebor, and they brought gifts of fruit and venison every moon's turn, and they made glorious promises of alliance and frienship...

And now...

_You can't know what the heart of men is really made of, unless you stand hurt and helpless in front of them, _Dìs reflected bitterly, with a sour taste in her mouth as she remembered their lies and their false smiles. _Then you'll see who is truly a friend, and who was just pretending to be a friend to take advantage of your wealth. _____

« Something you wouldn't like, » she said with a menacing smile on her lips. She didn't carry her sword, but there was a dagger hanging at her belt, hidden beneath her furs and her long woolen mantle. She was very skilled in close combat with a knife. She would be able to beat them all before they even realized what was happening, she knew it. She wasn't afraid ; actually, she even felt a thrill of anticipation as she imagined their reactions at the moment they would understand she was definitely NOT an easy victim. Wouldn't it be sweet to wipe away their disgusting smiles ? Wouldn't it be sweet to give them a taste of her steel ? Wouldn't it be sweet to avenge all the Dwarves these three men had humiliated during the last years ? 

But after a few moments of hesitation the men moved away and allowed her to pass. 

Dìs threw them a murderous look and walked away. She may be wearing old and worn rags, but underneath that layer of humble clothes her heart still was – and always would be – that of a true warrior princess. 

She had barely made a few steps when one of the three hunters grabbed her bag and pulled at it, spilling its content on the muddy ground. All three of them – and some of the onlookers as well – roared with laughter. Fili started crying and hid behing his mother's legs. To him, these men looked like giants, and their laughter sounded as foreboding as the growling of a wolf. He had never been so frightened before.

« Mother ? » he said in a small voice, pulling at her skirt and looking up at her. 

The anger on her face faded as she looked down at her son.

« Stay close to me, sweetheart, » she whispered, squeezing his tiny hand in hers. « I won't let them hurt you. »

But Fili had now caught the men's attention

« Look ! » the eldest man bellowed, talking not only to his accomplices, but also to the crowd gathered around them. « Even the babies are hairy little beasts ! Look at this one ! Look at his cheeks ! »

Everybody laughed again.

New tears welled up in Fili's eyes. Usually he was quite proud of the soft peach fuzz that had just started growing on his cheeks, because Mother kept complimenting him about it, and Njord – whose cheeks were still as bare as newborn's – was always so jealous. But why were these men now talking about the soft blond hairs on his face as if it were something disgusting ? He didn't understand, so he hid his face in his mother's skirt and cried.

« I didn't give you any offense, so now you will leave us alone or you will see what an angry dwarf looks like, » she said, her voice dangerously low.

They guffawed as if they had heard a good joke, and refused to move.

_All right, they really are as stupid as they look. Very well. I will have to teach them a good lesson, then. A scar or two on their faces would probably not be able to make them look any uglier than they already were, but at least it would let them know that Dwarves are no toys to be humiliated for the amusement of people. ___

She could feel the weight of her dagger against her hip.

« Fili, my little lion, I need you to be brave and strong, now, » she said, looking down at her eldest son. « You will have to hold your little brother, can you do this ? »

Fili wiped away his tears and nodded, awed by the strength of his mother who didn't even flinch in front of these ugly brutes. She was really the bravest woman in the world. She was afraid of nothing. Fili was sure she wouldn't even be afraid of a stone giant, if one of them was standing here in front of them.

« I will take care of Kili, » he said, trying to look as strong and determined as she was

But at this precise moment, the three men closed in on Dìs and her sons. Fili cried out. He felt like a mouse cornered by three famished cats.

« He's hairier than a lil' monkey, that one ! » the old man bellowed, stretching out his hand to catch a strand of blond hair on the boy's head.

Quick as a lightning bolt, without even thinking, Dìs drew her blade and – while still holding Kili in her left arm – she stabbed the man's skinny arm with her dagger. The blade cut into the fabric, then into skin and flesh. The man screamed in agony and pressed his other hand on the wound ; soon, blood poured out from between his clenched finger. 

« You lil' bitch ! » he screamed. 

He tried to retreat, but he stumbled over the chunk of soap that was still laying on the ground. He fell backwards, and ended up with his butt in the icy cold mud. He squealed like a pig and the Princess of Erebor glared triumphantly down at him. The crowed laughed and cheered, only now it was not Dìs and her sons they were mocking.

The two blond men stepped forwards threateningly, but when they saw the dangerous gleam in her eyes they suddenly hesitated.

« Touch my son again, and the wild dogs will feed on your corpses, » she said, breathing hard. She hadn't shouted, but there was murder in her voice. « I have killed in the past, and I am not afraid to do it once more. » Old memories from the Battle of Azanulbizar came back to the surface of her memory, but she drove them away to concentrate on the present. Strands of hair had escaped from her thick braids and were now flying in front of her face. She looked both men straight into the eyes. She was smaller than them, but anger and hatred made her look as impressive as a bear. « No one touches my sons. No one. »

The two men looked at each other, then suddenly they decided to run, without even bothering to pick up their wounded friend.

"Filthy cowards," she spat, kicking cold mud into the face of the old man, who was still whimpering on the ground. Then she looked at her son, ans a smile appeared on her face. It was obvious, even to the child, how satisfied of herself she was. « Let's go home, sweetheart, » she told Fili, with a reassuring smile. She stroked his cheek. « These men will never bother us again, sweetheart. Now come. Let's go home. I'll prepare you a glass of warm milk, and we still have a few biscuits left from last week. »

Fili's mouth suddenly watered when his mother mentioned the biscuits.

« Let's go home ! » he chanted happily. His legs were still a bit shaky after such a fear, and his cheeks were still wet with cold glistening tears, but their encounter with the tall men was already starting to fade from his memory.

As Dìs walked by, the onlookers scattered like a flock of fat pigeons, but one farmer women took the time to stop and say a few words.

« S'no more than they deserved, these evil bastards, » she said approvingly. 

Both women shared a brief smile, then they each went their own way. 

A few hours later, as the sky was starting to turn dark, Dìs and Urggo and their children were all at home, enjoying the warmth of the heart. Little Kili was laying on a thick pillow on the ground, just in front of the fire. Fili was sitting in front of him, already wearing his night clothes, making funny face to amuse his little brother. Their giggles were a balm to Dìs' heart, and warmed her from the inside. Usually Urggo came home late, when the boys were asleep already, but today he had been able to leave the forge earlier. It felt wonderful to be together like that, all of them, like a real family.

Young Fili had already forgotten about the encounter with the Tall Men. His belly was full to bursting with roast meat and spiced potatoes, and he was warm, and his father had come home early, and it was fun to make Kili laugh. He had everything a little boy of his age needed to be happy. Sometimes he looked up to glance at Mother, who was sitting in a worn armchair to mend socks, and at his father who was repairing a pair of shoes.

After a while, Dìs strtetched and sighed.

« Fili, my dear, would you mind running into the kitchen to get me a new candle ? » she asked, pointing at the dying candle next to her armchair.

Fili nodded enthusiastically and jumped on his feet to obey his mother. He opened the drawer in which the candles were stored ; they didn't have many left, and the new ones they had bought this morning were now lost under a murky layer of mud. Fili's chubby finger closed around of the the few remaining candles, then he walked back to the other room with infinite precautions ; he didn't want to break it by letting it drop on the floor. As he walked past one of the windows, though, the flickering light of a flame caught his eyes, outside. A torch, obviously. Then he realized it was not one torch, but two. And a group of men were standing in the dancing circle of light. He was about to get away from the window again – Mother always said that they had no business in what the Tall Men were doing – but then suddenly he recognized the ol man his mother had stabbed on their way back from the market. He froze, and his tiny heart started beating faster. He hadn't forgotten how tall and menacing they had been. He hadn't forgotten how mean they had been.

« Mother ? » he called in a small voice, suddenly feeling like a trapped rabbit again. « The old man is here. »

« Which old man ? » Dìs asked distractedly, her mind still focused on her needlework. 

« The one you stabbed this morning. »

Dìs cursed, and jumped out of the armchair. Urggo did the same ; she had told him everything, of course, but neither of them had expected these men – the cowards – to retaliate. They had been sure the old man would go back to the forest to lick his wounds like an injured dog, but obviously they had been wrong about him : his hurt pride and his stupid desire for revenge were seemingly stronger than his reason.

« Are you sure ? » she asked, frowning.

Fili nodded without an hesitation.

« He's coming over here. He's looking at the house. There are lots of other men with him. »

By the time he was finished talking, both his parents were standing at his side. The three of them gazed outside for a short while – no more than a few seconds – then Fili looked up as his mother. Her face was twisted in anger, and her hands turned into tigt fists.

« Get away from the window, » she ordered. Next moment she took Fili's hand to lead him away into the main room, where she picked up Kili. The baby was still giggling, but as soon as he felt how tense his mother was his smile suddenly disappeared. He started whimpering. Dìs led both boys to the small bedroom they shared. « Stay here, and lock the door as soon as I am outside, and don't open the door for anybody but me or your father, » she said sternly, looking Fili into the eyes to make sure the boy understood how serious she was.

Fili nodded gravely. He may be only five years old, but he was ready to act like a big boy. He was ready to be as brave as Mother and Father.

« I won't open the door, » he promised with exaggerated solemnity.

« Good, » she said with a smile. « I know I can trust you. And be silent, too – or try to be as silent as possible, at least, » she added with a look at Kili. « Try to keep him busy with toys, so he doesn't start to scream. »

Fili nodded again

Dìs walked out, and sighed in relief when she heard Fili's little fingers lock the door. If these filthy dogs came into the house, she didn't want them to put their ugly paws on her children. They would have to battle with the lock – or to smash open the door – and in both situations it would keep them busy for a while, giving Dìs and Urggo enough time to intervene.

Once she was gone, Fili sat on the bed next to his little brother. It was not as warm here as in the main room, so he took a blanket and used it to cover Kili, then he got another one for himself. He spotted a spider crawling along the walls, running away from the light of the only candle Dìs had left them.

« Mother and Father will keep us safe, » he said to Kili with a confident smile. He picked up the stuffed cat Frerin had bought them a few days earlier, and shook it in front of Kili's face. A smile lit up his tiny face. His cheeks were round and chubby now, just like his arms and his legs and his belly. His dark eyes sparlked with joy whenever he smiled, just like Uncle Frerin's eyes. His hair was already so long it made him look like a girl, but Mother didn't want to cut it because she loved these thick dark curls so much.

Fili could hear Mother and Father's voices, in the main room of the house. And shouts coming from the inside. Part of him wanted to see what would happen, and another part was happy to be away from the trouble.

He heard the familiar sound of swords being unsheathed.

« Mother will keep us safe, » he repeated, but this time his voice was hesitant, and it sounded as though he was trying to reassure himself.

There were so many men. _What if they hurt Mother ? Or Father ? ___

This thought was so frightening that tears started to roll down his cheeks, but he didn't forget the assignement his mother had giben him : keep Kili busy so he doesn't start to cry. 

« Don't worry, everything will be fine, » he said in spite of the lump in his throat. 

He shook the stuffed cat again, and rubbed its soft fur against Kili's tiny pink hands. The baby giggled, blissfully unaware of the terrible events happening outside.

Then suddenly there was a loud thud on the roof overhead, as if something heavy had landed on the old moss-eaten tiles of the roof.

Another thud followed a few seconds later.

« Fili, oopen the door ! » Their father's voice was urgent and imperious. « Now, Fili ! Quick ! We have to leave the house ! »

Fili's stomach was now clenched with fear.

As soon as he had opened the door, both his parents burst into the room. Urggo scooped up Kili in his strong arms, and Dìs grabbed Fili's hand to pull his outside of the bedroom.

« We must be quick, » she said.

« I need to get my wooden horses ! » Fili complained. « It's Balin who... »

« No time, laddie, » his father cut him short, his blue eyes filled with despair. 

They all stormed out of the bedroom, then they opened the backdoor and ran outside. It was so cold outside, after the comfortable warmth of the house, that Fili couldn't breathe for a few seconds : the air was frozen, just like the snow under his bare feet. Cold winds crept under his night clothes, making him shiver from head to toes. Kili started screaming at the top of his lungs.

« What's happening ? » the eldest boy asked as soon as he had overcome the shock of being thrown unprepared into the cold.

Nobody answered, but he just had to follow his parent's gaze.

The roof of their house was burning, and the flames were getting bigger and bigger. 

« Oil, » Urgo spat angrily. « They have used oil. Can you smell it ? » He snorted. « They knew the wood would be too wet to burn easily, so they threw jars of oil on the roof. » Remnants of these broken jars were still scattered on the floor. The snow around them was stained with thick, sticky oil."

Fili was still watching the flames, hypnotized like a tiny mouse in front of the snake that's going to devour it.

Kili was still screaming.

When they heard steps behind them, they all turned around and Fili turned his head so brusquely that he felt something crack in his neck.

The old man with the wounded arm was standing there, with a fork in his hands. A dozen of other men were standing behind him, armed with makeships weapons : sticks with nails, hammers, shovels, and a few of them also had real weapons. Dìs recognized one of the soldiers who had watched and laughed, a few hours earlier.

« You and me, bitch, we are not finished yet, » he growled in a menacing voice, pointing his fork at her.

Dìs watched him, then all the other men, trying to evaluate their strengths and weaknesses. Then she shared a look with her beloved husband.

There was no fear on her face, only cold determination.

_Let's show them how the sons and daughters of Durin can fight, when someone is stupid enough to wake their anger. ___


End file.
